Steve: Alright Dave.
Dave: Alright Steve.
Steve: Where’s Eric?
Dave: Floating in a paddling pool three gardens down.
Steve: What? Why?
Dave: The kid was flailing his arms around like a lunatic, so he stung him.
Dave: And that was that. Massive abdominal rupture. Dead.
Steve: What the fuck?
Dave: It was always gonna happen Steve. Remember when he went mad at you for giving him the wrong directions to rhododendrons? His temper was always going to get him into trouble.
Steve: But I don’t understand.
Dave: What is there to understand?
Steve: Why did he die when he stung the kid?
Dave: Because that’s what happens to us. We sting, we die. Don’t tell me you didn’t know!
Steve: No, I didn’t! But how –
Dave: – Eric knew what he was getting himself into. He knew the consequences.
Dave: Yes, consequences. He pulled out, and left behind his stinger, his abdomen and digestive tract, plus some muscles and nerves.
Steve: Oh my God. This… I can’t even…
Dave: It was a terrible mess, by all accounts.
Dave: I imagine this has come as something of a shock.
Steve: You bet it has. That is some fucked-up bullshit, Dave.
Dave: I know.
Steve: Do you know how many times I’ve nearly stung someone for a laugh?
Dave: It’s a cruel fate my friend. Not only are we critical to their survival, but we die if we hurt them.
Steve: Seriously, I nearly stung you a minute ago, just to make you jump.
Dave: I knew you were behind me.
Dave: Yes, Steve. You’re a honey bee, not a stealth bomber.
Steve: Poor Eric. But what about Alan? He’s always stinging people.
Dave: Alan’s a twat. And also, Alan’s a bumble bee.
Dave: So, it’s only us honey bees who die when we sting.
Steve: You’re kidding?
Dave: I wish I was my friend, believe me. How come you didn’t know this?
Steve: I don’t know. How was I supposed to know?
Dave: You were just supposed to know. We’re supposed to just be born with the knowledge. Instinct, that sort of thing.
Steve: God, I feel so stupid.
Dave: Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Steve: It’s enough to shake your faith in the big guy too, isn’t it?
Dave: Who, God?
Steve: Yeah, I mean that’s a very specific thing to happen to a very specific species of bee. What’s the point?
Dave: You need to let it go Steve. Just try to keep calm.
Steve: I’m not sure I can Dave.
Dave: Just don’t do anything stupid, Steve. They’re not worth it.
Steve: Alright Dave.